Losing Myself
by lluviaivan
Summary: Clary finds herself with an unconventional job and in an abusive relationship with drugs. Every single day is monotonous. Every single day is a struggle. When one client takes an interest in her, he may lead to something worth living for.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi this is a new story, still in progress. I hope you enjoy it.**

 **Disclaimer: characters belong to TMI**

Clary gently took the proffered pipe and brought it to her lips. She glanced over at the man beside her, who hadn't smoked any, but had bought the rock just for her. Clary's eyes slid over his ordinary face and she found that she couldn't recall his name. His gaze held desire but also something softer, something warmer. Sometimes, clients became attached.

Her eyes flickered back to the rock sitting ever so delicately in the pipe. She took in a shuddering breath as every other thought fled from her mind. Clary's hands were trembling as she struck the lighter. Her last high had worn off and she was craving this. She needed this hit like she needed breath. When she inhaled, long and slow, the smoke filled her lungs. She held it for a second, relishing in the burn. As she slowly exhaled, the smoke clouded around her head before diffusing into the hair. She dropped her chin to her chest as a tingling feeling ran up all of her limbs and butterflies form in her stomach. It was as if her body was preparing for the euphoria that would come with the next hit. And come it did. Her body buzzed with a sense of pleasure that she couldn't put to words. Soon she finished the rock and it was time to get to work.

The man next to her wasn't handsome, but average. He turned to her expectantly. Clary grinned widely at him, literally feeling on top of the world and spun to her feet. She slowly pulled her dress over her head, revealing that she was completely naked underneath. She realized then that there was music playing and started swaying to the beat, her hands stretched over her head and that manic grin still stretching her lips.

She dropped her head back and let it hang, the rest of her body still moving with the music. The ceiling was a dark red with intricate gold patterns that matched the walls. It wasn't a very nice hotel, but average.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by the man's hands roughly grasping her waist. She had forgotten for a second that he was here. His hands moved from her waist to her breasts, and then between her legs. He brought his lips to hers, kissing her aggressively and pressing his tongue into her mouth. She reached down and took him into her hand, stoking him over his pants. She slowly dropped to her knees, pulling his pants down with her. She took him easily into her mouth, like he would have wanted. His dick was large, but average. He pulled her head back before she finished and brought her to the bed where she splayed out. He was quick to follow. The man flipped her onto her stomach and dragged her towards him. He pushed himself completely inside of her and starting thrusting. Occasionally he would slap her ass, pulling a harsh grunt from her. But the only real sounds in the room were the slap of their bodies coming together, his heavy breathing, and the faint music that was still playing.

Soon he finished and collapsed beside her on the bed, slick with sweat. Clary rolled away and dropped her feet to the floor. She rubbed her eyes and her head, pulling her unruly hair back into a ponytail. She stumbled away from the bed, the man not noticing in his sex-induced haze; already half asleep. Clary went to her bag and pulled out a little vial with white powder drifting on the bottom. She used her little snuff spoon to dispense a bump and snorted it up a nostril. She quickly took another and sniffed it up her other nostril. She rubbed her nose roughly and glanced at herself in the mirror.

She looked insane. Her eyes were glazed with dark bags underneath them. Her pupils were so dilated that you could only see a small ring of green. And her hair, although in a ponytail, was a complete mess. Clary rubbed her pale face and turned away.

She hopped into the shower and scrubbed off the night's activities from her skin. The music in the room started to play The Killers, and Clary couldn't help but dance. She screamed the words soundlessly, lip-syncing, into the complimentary shampoo bottle; as to not wake up the man in the other room. Her feet were jumping up and down to the beat, making small splashes every time they landed on the floor. She felt good, really good. All she wanted to do was scream the words of the chorus as the hot water fell over her body.

Soon, the desire to dance and sing wore off and Clary was left standing silently under the torrent of water, looking blankly at the wall.

She quietly dressed herself, took a couple more bumps of coke before sneaking out the door. Clary called Simon to pick her up. While she waited for him she twirled through the lobby and out the door, breathing in the cool night air of the city. It wasn't long before Simon pulled up in a fancy red car. She skipped up to the passenger seat and opened the door.

Simon greeted her with a smile and a wad of cash, "your cut, pretty lady."

That made Clary extra happy as she sat in the black leather seat and took the money from him. "Oh, how I love the smell of money in the morning," Clary marveled, even thumbing her finger through the green bills and holding them to her nose. "Smells fresh, Simon Darling."

Simon laughed heartily, turning his head to look at her before settling for a soft smile, "you're quite a character red."

"And you love me," Clary answered with a large grin. Simon just shook his head, the smile still on his face as he lightly patted her head.

They drove in silence for a couple of minutes; a comfortable silence that allowed Clary to turn up the music and sing along to the Radiohead song that was playing. She was bopping her head and dancing as best as she could in the car seat

Soon Simon reached out and lowered the volume, "so, did you have fun?"

Clary gave him a sideways kind of look, at first in disbelief. Then, she thought about it for a second before grinning again. It seemed that she was always smiling. "Well, it was all pretty average," she finally replied.

"I see," he said lowly. When he turned to look at her his eyes were sparkling a bit, "well, that's better than usual."

"You're right!" Clary pumped her fist into the air in excitement, "that's a success if I've ever seen one."

Simon laughed again and just shook his head, muttering about her being high as a kite.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hi everyone, I wrote this chapter last night... I think it's going to progress pretty nicely. Let me know if you have any ideas for the story/ if you like it! Without further adieu... please enjoy!_**

When Clary woke up, she wasn't high. She didn't know when she went to sleep or for how long she slept. She sat up in her bed; the sheets had twisted themselves around her legs, trapping her. Her skin felt kind of itchy, like there were bugs crawling on her. Her whole body shivered. She rubbed her arms roughly, holding back another shiver. Her fingers twitched involuntarily.

She reached over to her bedside table and opened it, pulling out one of the joints from her stash. She brought the perfectly rolled bud to her nose and sniffed it. Fuck, she loved weed. She brought the joint to her lips and lit it up, still sitting in her bed. She stealthily pulled her legs apart from her sheets and brought a knee to her chest. After a few hits, she sighed contentedly and leaned against the wall behind her.

Suddenly, her door burst open and a beautiful girl with long raven hair and dark eyes entered. Clary smiled widely at her friend and offered the joint to her. Isabelle smirked back and her and gladly pinched the joint between her fingers and took a couple of hits.

"Man, it smells dank in here," Isabelle breathed.

Clary laughed lightly, "well, what did you expect? Your room probably smells just as dank."

Her friend just shook her head, refusing to accept her room smelling "dank". She moved to sit beside Clary against the headboard, "how was your night?"

Clary groaned lightly and rubber her forehead, "it happened, and now it's over. Nothing special."

Isabelle let out a small laugh, "is it ever special?"

"You're not wrong," Clary grinned back at her as she finished the joint, "how was yours?"

Isabelle let out a long sigh, "definitely not better than yours."

"At least the pay is good," Clary winked at the girl beside her. Clary then paused for a second, before nodding slightly to herself. "I'm going to start smoking the good stuff... do you want to stay?"

Isabelle shrugged, "I'll chill, but I'm just going to smoke another _J._ "

Clary nodded, expecting this response. They do this most mornings. The red-head climbed over Isabelle and grabbed some more things from her bedside table. She handed Isabelle another joint and a lighter, while she pulled out her pipe.

"I still think you should quit while you're ahead," Isabelle murmured. She said that every morning.

"Chill," Clary muttered as she filled the bowl with some rock. "I'm not ahead of anything, anyway." She could feel the girl's eyes boring into her head as Clary tried to focus on the task at hand. It was hard to do so with so much attention, so Clary rolled her eyes and lowered the pipe. "Seriously Iz, I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself."

"Right, I know. I'm just worried," Isabelle put a soft hand on Clary's leg.

Clary's gaze softened, "once I start getting paranoid I'll stop, I promise."

"At that point, you won't be able to," Izzy took her hand back and lit up her joint.

Clary sighed and looked down at the drug in her hands. Sometimes, she wished she had never started at all. But other times, it was the most amazing feeling in the world. Nothing could ever compare to what it felt like, smoking the rock, feeling the euphoria creeping in; all your fears just flow away... it's just you and your life and the world, and it feels so good.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine," Clary lit her pipe and pulled the smoke into her lungs. She dropped her head back against the wall, feeling the beginnings of the high creeping in. They each smoked in a soft silence. Clary felt like her heart was expanding, like it was about to explode. She quickly finished off her pipe and jumped up.

"I'll be back, Izzy, I just have to get moving," her words came out so quickly that they started falling over each other.

Isabelle looked up in confusion, having not understood a word that had left Clary's mouth, "What?" But, Clary was already gone and her word just filled that empty space.

Clary, meanwhile, had taken off down the hallway of their flat. Her heart was racing and all she wanted to do was talk about everything in the world, but also lay down and just think about it. She didn't really know what to do, so she kept walking.

Suddenly, she ran into someone; literally bowled them over. Clary stopped short, blinking. Had she just hit something? She looked around quickly, and not seeing anything was about to continue forward.

"Fucking hell, Clary," a voice sounded from below her. Clary froze in place and looked down, surprised. Maia, another girl living in her flat, was slowly climbing to her feet.

"Maia, hey, what are you doing? Did I run into you? I thought maybe I had hit something, but I wasn't sure, and I didn't see anything, so I was going to keep walking. But then you were on the ground. I just didn't look down." Clary shook her head to herself, "so dumb." There a moment of silence, when Clary realized what Maia might be thinking. "No, not that you're dumb Maia. I was talking to myself when I said that."

Maia looked at her in confusion. Clary was blabbing on about nothing and talking quickly. Her mouth was spread into a wide grin and her feet wouldn't stop moving.

"An apology would be nice," Maia grumbled, rubbing her sore butt. But, she saw Clary's face: her smile, her dilated eyes, and her fidgeting. "But, you're fucking high. Why am I not surprised?"

Clary just laughed, "don't be sour Maia, I'll ask you the next time." She patted the girl's head and skipped off down the hallway, which opened into the living room and kitchen. There, the three other girls, with whom they shared the flat, were gathered. One of them was cooking herself food, while the other two passed a pipe between them.

"Clary!" They all shouted her name as she entered. Clary laughed and waved happily at them, even throwing in the occasional bow. She spun in circles a couple of times before she realized that they had stopped looking at her and were focused back on the pipe. Clary unconsciously licked her lips.

Clary tossed her curly hair into a ponytail before approaching them. It felt as if there was a magnetic force pulling her and the pipe together. She leaned against the counter and the girls passed her the pipe. She hadn't realized how much she wanted another hit until the pipe was in her hands. She inhaled slowly, relishing in the feeling of the smoked filling up her lungs. When she let it out, the smile crept back onto her face.

She was feeling so many things, so many amazing things. She felt like she was going to burst, so she ran to the front door and swung it open, letting the breeze waft across her burning skin. There are no words to describe how she was feeling. She stood there for a second, looking at nothing before she shut the door and returned to the kitchen. The girls offered her another hit. She couldn't turn down more, so she didn't.

Clary vaguely remember Maia, so she shouted her name. Thankfully the girl heard Clary's yells and ventured into the kitchen. Maia saw that they were smoking and ran over to the pipe. She grabbed it and kissed it, then kissed clary's cheek, then smoked.

Clary felt distant from reality, so she turned on the music to ground her. She raised the volume until she could feel the bass reverberating through the floorboards and into her feet. They finished the pipe and were feeling on top of the world. The music was still blasting and the vibration spread throughout her entire body. Her breath, her heartbeat, everything in her body seemed to move in time to the beat of the music. The girls started shouting the music and dancing.

Clary screamed the lyrics with her flat mates, the beat taking her off her feet. Her whole body was buzzing with euphoric energy. She started jumping up and down on the floor, each slam of her feet on the ground in time with the beat. She screamed until her throat was raw, and then screamed some more.

They didn't hear the knock on the door. No one did. It was opened by the man outside, and he entered silently. When he came upon the living room he just shook his head and chuckled to himself.

Clary noticed him first. She looked up and met his chocolate brown eyes from behind his glasses. She was wearing her classic grin, and simply a long t-shirt over her underwear.

"Simon!" Clary cheered, running to him and jumping into his arms. He caught her around the waist and laughed while she hugged him.

"Hey, firecracker," Simon rested his chin atop her head for a second. Just for a soft, calm second before the other girls came barreling forward, yelling his name as well. Isabelle had joined in the fray at some point, Clary hadn't noticed.

"How is everyone on this fine morning?" Simon asked, giving them all a cheeky smile.

"Better now that you're here," Isabelle called out, shooting him a quick wink from where she stood. Simon's cheeks flushed pink at her words and he rubbed the back of his head lightly.

"W-well, that's good," Simon stuttered. Clary's grin widened at his embarrassment. "Let's all sit down and I'll tell you guys what your nights are going to look like."

While all the girls followed his instructions, Clary pulled out her little vial of white powder and discretely spooned out a couple of bumps. Reinvigorated, Clary bounced over to the rest of the girls and stood next to the couch, bouncing up and down lightly on her toes.

She wondered what it would feel like to run right now. She loved the way her heart was racing and wanted it to go even faster. She quickly glanced into the kitchen, wondering where that pipe went. She wanted more. Her gaze turned out the window. It was a beautiful spring day and the sky was that lovely color of blue; light blue, but not too light. It was also scattered with clouds. But, not too many clouds that it took away from the blue of the sky, just enough that you didn't lose yourself in the endlessness of the sky. She thought about just how endless the sky was.

"Clary," she was broken out of her reverie by a warm hand on her head. She looked up through her lashes at Simon.

"Yes?" she questioned.

"I was talking about your clients for tonight. You're going to be with a man by the name of Sebastian Verlac. I'll drop you at his hotel around ten, okay?" Simon looked softly into her eyes, searching for some sign of recognition. Finally he nodded, "okay, I'll be by later then." With that he took off, leaving them all staring at his back as he walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hiya please enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think! Cool.. enjoy._**

This man, Sebastian, she wasn't sure if she liked him. He was handsome, and close to Clary's age, somewhere in his twenties. She studied his profile carefully as he focused on filling the pipe. His nose was relatively large, but it suited him. His hair was dark and matched his midnight colored eyes. He was tall and slender. Clary wondered why he wanted her services; it seemed like he could very easily pick up any girl he wanted.

They sat close together on the bed in this fancy hotel room that he bought. It was the nicest place Clary had ever been in her life. When she first entered she spent a whole ten minutes looking around the place, touching the soft sheets, looking at fancy chandelier that dangled over the bed from the high ceilings. The room even smelled super clean. It all overwhelmed her for a second.

He had grounded her by placing a light hand on her shoulder. She peered into those onyx depths and nearly lost herself again, staring into the swirling abyss of nothingness. Then he said, "your guy told me you smoke. I brought some rock for you if you want it."

Suddenly her eyes, which had glazed over, snapped into focus. She unconsciously leaned closer to him, a large grin spreading over her lips. Before she could reply, he let out a laugh. It was a pleasant sound that made her smile widen. "I'll take that as a yes," he placed his hand against her flushed cheek and stroked it lightly. Clary looked down, abashed over her excitement.

Her eyes flicked away from his face when he brought the lighter to the pipe. She stared into the pipe as he lit up on the end with the Brillo and inhaled deeply. Her eyes followed the pipe up to his mouth and she stared as he slowly released his breath and shot her a crooked grin, holding the pipe out for her. A question had been forming in her mind, which she promptly forgot as her fingers grasped the warm glass. Her heart sped up in anticipation as she held it to her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed as the euphoria started to rush over her. Her blood warmed at the feeling and she passed the pipe back to Sebastian. She took another couple of hits before it was done.

Clary felt blissful, her body warm and her mind buzzing. She fell back on the bed and spread her arms out. The blanket was so soft that she nuzzled into it, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. She vaguely heard Sebastian turn on some music. The sound surrounded her, filled her up, and lifted her to her feet. She started dancing, her body swaying to the music as it did. She spun in circles, her hair bouncing and flowing around her. She felt like she would have spun forever if these cool hands hadn't grabbed her own. They spun her body into his hard one and she gasped, losing her breath.

She looked up from where he held her to his chest, swaying a bit to the music. He turned his eyes down to meet hers and she immediately felt lost again. Her breath stopped and her chest constricted. All she saw was darkness. It was frightening. She was released from that choking grasp when his eyes gently closed. She let out a soft gasp of breath, trembling slightly. His dark eyes reminded her of her past, and she didn't like to think about that so she pushed all her thoughts away.

He still held her tight in his arms and was tilting his head towards her, seeming to move impossibly slow. Clary was doing her job, so she closed her own eyes and met him half-way.

She brushed her lips to his, almost shyly, before pushing against them harder. She had to stand on her tippy toes to reach him, so she looped her arms around his neck to help her. His hands slid down her waist to grab her ass, and her mouth opened in a silent gasp when he squeezed roughly. He took that opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips and move it against her own. Clary responded, slowly stroking her tongue against his, eliciting a deep groan. Clary jumped up and wrapped her short legs around Sebastian's waist. She could feel his hardness pressed up against her. He lowered his arms so they were tight around her hips. He growled and pushed her harder against him, grinding their hips together. Clary dropped her head back, letting it hang. Sebastian held her ip, on hand beneath her butt and the other on her back. He moves his lips, giving her hot kisses down her jaw to her neck, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin.

Clary watched the wallpaper and the bed and the window. Her body was responding to the stimulation and wetness pooled between her legs. Her head was suddenly pulled up and Clary couldn't see for a moment as all the blood rushed out of it. She felt Sebastian lift her off him and throw her roughly onto the bed. She barely had time to orient herself before he was on top of her, shoving his tongue into her mouth once more. One of his hands went to her breast, his fingered teasing her nipple. Her dress was off. Clary didn't know when that had happened.

Sebastian ripped off his own shirt, followed by his pants. Clary watched and felt like she was seeing everything one second after it happened. Clary saw his hardness slide out of his boxers and rolled to her hands and knees. She crawled to the edge of the bed where he stood on display. His eyes were dark as he watched her approach him. She took him into her mouth. She was good at this. Clary teased the tip with her tongue, before sliding her tongue along his length. She looked up at him, her green eyes wide and glazed. He caught her gaze and grunted, his cock twitching in her mouth. She looked back down and took his entire member into her mouth, choking slightly as it hit the back of her throat. She slowly moved up and down, teasing him. He took a fistful of her curly hair, forcing her to move quicker. Her throat opened, encompassing the intrusion without trouble. She let him fuck her mouth.

When his breathing became more labored he pushed her back onto the bed. He climbed on top of her, not hesitating to plunge his cock all the way inside of her. It hurt for a second, but Clary moaned loudly, gripping his hair and pulling it hard. He grunted again, thrusting harder. Clary's hands moved to his shoulders which were beginning to dampen with sweat. Her nails dug into his muscles as he thrust inside of her. Suddenly he stopped and flipped her onto her stomach. He pulled her to her hands and knees and entered her from behind. Clary gasped as he pushed his way inside her and started fucking her hard. His hands gripped her waist so intensely that she knew there would be bruises tomorrow.

She felt him grab a handful of her hair and pull her head back sharply. Clary cried out and tears pricked her eyes at the pain. She put her own hand to her clit and started rubbing furiously, trying to get off before he finished. It didn't take long before she climaxed, clenching her legs and moaning loudly. Sebastian finished soon after. He collapsed down next to her, breathing hard.

They lay side by side looking at each other. Clary let a smile grace her lips and giggle lightly. "Well, that was amazing," Sebastian breathed, dropping a hand on her cheek.

"That was good," Clary ran a hand through her hair. Normally it was all just average, but he was good. Maybe it was because Sebastian was younger and more handsome than the usual clients.

Sebastian leaned in closer, so their lips were nearly brushing as he whispered his next words, "want to go for round two?"

Clary pursed her lips, as if in thought, before twisting away and springing off the bed. She pulled the throw blanket around her shoulders. "Sorry Sebastian," she winked at him, "you only paid for one."

Clary turned and sauntered towards the bathroom, grabbing her bag on the way. She took a couple bumps before hopping in that luxurious shower. She took her time, cleaning herself under the amazing water pressure and pretty smelling soaps. When she got out she stood in front of the mirror and wiped the steam away.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't do that often. Clary didn't like looking at herself. Her hair was wet and hung in small ringlets around her freckled face. Her eyes were wide and hollow, the whites tinged slightly with red and her pupils dilated. She hated that. She hated how her eyes looked when she was high. She reached a hand up and touched the corner of her eye, hating the way her fingernails had been chewed to nubs. She felt the sudden urge to sink her fingers into her eyeballs and yank them out of her head. She didn't. Instead she pushed on them with her palms; applying enough pressure that she saw stars dancing across her eyelids. She dropped her arms and took a step backwards, pulling her eyes away from the girl in the mirror.

Her hands trembled as she pulled at the small vial from her bag and brought the white powder to her nose.

She texted Simon and left the handsome man sleeping on the bed.

Clary existed the hotel room, not forgetting to sneak some fancy soaps into her bag, and skipped to the elevator. She wasn't sure what time it was, but it was late, and she was full of energy. Clary stood waiting outside of the elevator and took one of the soaps bars out of her bag. It was in the shape of a starfish and smelled like lavender. The elevator beeped and the doors opened. Clary looked up, the soap still up to her nose and met a pair of golden eyes.

It was as if time froze for a second. She felt as if her heart stopped and then started again at twice the pace. He was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. His jaw was strong and defined, with a faint blonde stubble. His hair was a beautiful golden color that curled around his ears.

Clary pulled herself together, entirely unaware of the dopey smile on her face, and tore the soap away from her nose to shove into her bag. She stepped, rather gracefully, onto the elevator. She could feel the man watching her as she pressed the button for the lobby.

There was silence. It was thick and it wrapped around the two of them until Clary felt suffocated. The feeling was strange, so she spoke, her eyes turning up to meet his, "I didn't think I'd see anyone so late." For some reason, another smile curled around her lips. There was something about this man, something indescribable, that made her heart dance.

The man chuckled to himself, "and I didn't think I'd see someone sniffing soap outside the elevator, yet here we are." His voice was deep and sang through her ears.

A surprised laugh escaped Clary's lips. Her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment, but the man seemed light-hearted. She studied him, wondering what he had been doing so late and who he was.

Clary opened her mouth to say something else, when the elevator doors opened at the lobby. She stepped out, a coy smile on her face. Turning back to face the handsome man, Clary looked up at him through her lashes and murmured, "well, it was nice to meet you."

He bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck, "yeah, you too."

Clary gave him another small smile before turning back and exiting the hotel. She could feel his gaze on her back as she left, but he was just some stranger in a fancy elevator.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hi, so I'm back from the dead. If you're following this story then I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while... I've been so busy with school and stuff. But, it's finals now so I have some time._**

 ** _Enjoy this brand new chapter :D_**

Clary felt dead. She could feel someone shaking her shoulder and calling her name, but she didn't want to respond. Her lips felt glued shut, her mouth filled with concrete, and her body under water. She felt a groan climb its way up her throat. Her comforter was pulled away from her body, but Clary couldn't react. It was a strange feeling. She felt like she was floating in a kind of limbo where she could hear her friends scrambling over her body, but couldn't react. It pulled on the fear in her heart, but she felt too blissed out to recognize it.

Suddenly a wave of coldness washed over her and she was soaking wet. Her eyes popped open, revealing her dull green irises, and she sat up, goosebumps coating her body. Water was starting to pool beneath her butt, so Clary jumped out of bed only to have her legs give out underneath her, sending her sprawling on the hardwood floor.

"Fuck," she muttered, her voice muffled by the ground. Her mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton and she could feel bruises forming on her bony knees and elbows.

"Fucking hell, Clary," she could hear Isabelle's voice above her. "I fucking thought you were dead."

Clary groaned again and pulled her body over to look up at her friend. "I just need to sleep more," she moaned, "did you pour water on me?"

"Yes!" Isabelle exclaimed dramatically. "You weren't moving, or responding, or anything. I literally thought you were fucking dead," Isabelle appeared to be on the verge of a breakdown but Clary couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips.

"Chill. Chill," Clary murmured, waving a hand to her friend. She watched through lidded eyes as her hand slowly drooped and fell to her side, landing with a hard thump. "I just need to rest more," Clary whispered. Her eyes felt very heavy and it was taking too much energy to keep them open, so she let them close. Clary felt that dark heaviness wash over her and let herself begin to be swept away in it.

"Clary! Don't you dare go back to sleep!" Isabelle got down on her knees next to Clary and called for Simon, who had raced over from his apartment and was now in their living room. The raven-haired girl pulled Clary's head into her lap and lightly slapped her pale face. Clary's eyes fluttered open again as Simon rushed into the room.

"Is she alright?" Simon asked, rushing over to kneel beside Isabelle.

"I don't know. I came in when I woke up and she wouldn't wake up," Isabelle's hands were fluttering over Clary's face as she talked. Her gentle touches sent warmth rippling over Clary's skin.

"Damn," Simon muttered. "Clary," he called, leaning further over her body. Clary forced her eyes open and shot Simon a weak grin.

"Chill, chill," she breathed out again. "I'm okay." She pulled herself forward with a groan so she was sitting up. What did she do last night? She didn't know. She doubted she would ever know, but sometimes that happens. Her body was probably just catching up to her. She hadn't slept the past couple of days; she had basically been high 24/7.

She felt her head drop, her chin hitting her chest. Clary let out another moan as she tried to force her eyes to stay open. "You don't think I should just sleep this off?" Clary muttered to her friends. She could feel Isabelle hovering over her shoulder.

"It's already six, Clary," Simon put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Sebastian Verlac has requested you again for tonight, but if you can't go then I can send someone else."

Clary let out a breath. Sebastian. He was that rich, handsome man. Why would he request her again? Clary's eyes shut again, "listen, I need to sleep more. I'll be okay to see Sebastian later. And if I die then that's okay, just scatter my ashes somewhere nice."

"Don't joke about that," Isabelle snapped, flicking her friend on the arm.

"Don't worry, Iz, I'll be fine. I'm just going to rest for a little." Clary turned her head towards her and squinted one eye open. Izzy was staring hard at her with concern evident in her eyes. "Really," Clary said again, "sleep."

Izzy sighed and rubbed one of her perfectly arched eyebrows with a finger. She turned to Simon who just shrugged. Isabelle looked back to Clary who had already begun crawling towards her bed. "Fine, but I swear if you're dead when I come back I'll follow you into hell and beat your ass."

Clary laughed lightly, "just come wake me up at ten and I'll be good."

Isabelle scratched her eyebrow again then nodded.

As soon as the door shut behind her two friends, Clary curled herself in her comforter and passed out.

A few hours later and Clary was still alive. She shrugged on a tight black two-piece that exposed her mid-drift, and black pumps to match. She had fifteen minutes before Simon would be here, so she pulled a blunt out of her draw and lit it up. Then she smoked another, then a couple of cigarettes, trying not to think about how she was out of rock.

Clary lay back in her bed, her thoughts drifting to that guy from the elevator. He was undeniably good-looking; his golden hair and his golden eyes. Clary sighed, dreaming of a life where her parents were alive and sober and she lived a normal life.

"Clary!" The red-head jerked up. "What the hell are you doing? We have to leave," Simon was standing in her doorway, looking down at her.

"Right...right," Clary murmured, slowly rising to her feet.

"Are you okay?" Simon looked at her with concern.

There was a long pause as Clary processed what he was saying. Does she not look okay? She tried her best to sober her expression and act normal. Then she forgot what Simon had asked.

"Uh... what?" Clary finally spoke softly.

"You were basically dead earlier. Are you alright?" Simon clarified, approaching Clary and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Right, right...yeah," Clary nodded to herself and stood stiffly in his arms before pulling away on heading to the door. What were they just talking about? She had the strangest feeling that her memories were leaving as soon as they happened. Clary reached out her hand as if to catch them.

"Clary," Simon called her name and Clary turned to look at him. She literally felt like she was some weird character in some weird ass movie. "You good?" he raised his eyebrows at her in question.

Clary nodded her head slowly up and down, not completely understanding the situation. Suddenly she saw something pass by her. It was dark like a shadow and very quick. She whipped her head around to look at it, but it was gone, a figment of her imagination. "Chill,"; Clary murmured to herself, resting a hand over her heart to steady it. She was bugging.

"Dude, what are you on?" Isabelle's voice appeared. Clary felt her heart skip a beat in surprise and turned to see Izzy.

"What the fuck," Clary muttered. She looked down, then back up to her friends, as if she were a hallucination. "How...? When... when did you get there?" Clary looked around again. She was standing in the middle of her living room with Isabelle. It was as if she blacked out for a time. "Where did Simon go?"

"Clary," Izzy put her hands on the smaller girl's shoulders. "Snap out of it," Izzy chuckled a little to herself, "you're so fucking high."

Clary shot her a grin back, her eyes unable to open past tiny slits. She nodded her head vigorously, unable to form words. The only thing she could thing was that she was high out of her mind. "I'm literally out of my mind. I have no idea what is going on." Clary gave Isabelle a quick hug, before sliding past her and out the door, where Simon was waiting in his car.

The car ride was quiet as Clary just sat and stared out the window, bobbing her head to nonexistent music.

It didn't take them long to get to the hotel. It was the same place she met him last time. "What was his name again?" Clary questioned, glancing over at Simon.

"Sebastian. Room 810," Simon shot her a small smile and a wink. "Now go to work," he shooed her out of the car.

Clary laughed, leaned over to brush her lips against his cheek, and stepped gracefully outside. She didn't look back to see the blush dusting Simon's cheeks.

As soon as she stepped into the hotel she felt out of place. Everything was so beautiful and expensive. Although Clary had been here once before, she felt like she was seeing it all for the first time. Her heels clacked loudly on the marble tiles as she stared, dazzled, at the huge crystal chandelier in the middle of the lobby. It wasn't until her feet carried her into a solid mass that she tore her eyes away from the lights. She let out a soft gasp as the air left her lungs and she was sent stumbling backwards. Unable to catch her balance in her heels she fell to the ground.

Was it too much to ask for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her? The answer: yes.

The next thing she knew, Clary's butt hit the ground hard and sent her sliding on the polished floors.

She was unable to move from her position for a few seconds as she tried to regain her breath. She felt a pounding in her head and realized she must have hit it on whatever she ran into. When her eyes finally focused on what was in front of her, she saw a pillar. A solid marble pillar. "Fuck," Clary muttered, starting to make her way to her feet. She had run straight into a fucking column. What the fuck?

It wasn't until she was back on her feet that she heard laughter coming from behind her. Clary whirled around to look for the person who thought her pain and humiliation was humorous.

The anger in her expression immediately fizzled out when she spotted the man. It was that guy from the elevator the other day. He was dressed in a perfectly fitted suit that showed off his lean, muscular figure. His golden hair still curled around his ears and highlighted the gold in his eyes.

Clary noticed his eyes widen in recognition. She pointed a small finger at him, "wipe that big ass smile off your face," Clary shouted across the lobby. Well not across, he was standing relatively close, but her shout earned her a few looks. "This isn't funny," she continued, moving her hand to rub her bruised butt.

Her comments only served to increase the size of his grin. He looked do damn smug over there. He slowly strolled over, an arrogance in his walk. "Sorry, I didn't think I'd run into anyone literally running into a pillar."

Clary rolled her eyes at his comment, failing to keep the pink out of her cheeks, "well, I didn't think I'd be running into a pillar either."

"That wasn't in your game plan?" He smirked at her.

Clary rubbed at her eyes and sighed, "I don't have a game plan. I'm just going with the flow, drifting in the breeze, riding on the train of life, you know?"

He laughed gently, "you hit your head too hard?"

Clary held the back of her hand to her forehead for a second. "yup, it's all just a hit on the head."

The man shook his head, a chuckle on his lips, "are you alright though?"

Clary met his gaze for a second before becoming extremely aware that she was very high, therefore her eyes were very high. She immediately looked down to hide the redness that she knew was present. "People seem to be asking me that a lot today," Clary murmured to the ground.

"So you're clumsy then?" The man smiled and pat her on the head.

Clary glared up at him and fixed her hair. "No," Clary replied indignantly, "I'm not clumsy... well maybe I am. But, I'm just..." Clary trailed off, not knowing what to say. She was a junkie, an addict.

"Well, I'm a bit clumsy myself, so I get it," The man jumped in quickly, sensing Clary's discomfort.

"You're clumsy?" Her tone was one of disbelief. She let out an incredulous laugh, but was grateful for the change. "Do you run into huge marble pillars as well?"

He laughed, a large smile making his face happy and bright. Clary giggled right along with him.

"No, I don't suppose I measure up to your level of clumsiness," he responded.

Clary laughed again. "Well, I set the bar high," she spread her arms out, "you don't see this kind of awesome every day." Clary twirled for him, a smile still stretched across her face.

He grinned at her, charmed, "you're a strange girl. What's your name?"

Clary met his eyes and stuck out her hand, "I'm Clary."

His eyes were dancing with amusement, "Jace. It was a pleasure seeing you, Clary." She nearly swooned at the way her name rolled off his tongue.

His hand fit into her and hovered in between them. The touch sent a warmth through her that made her reluctant to let go.

Then, her rational thoughts came rushing through and hit her like a ton of bricks. "Fuck," she cussed loudly, dropping his hand and scrambling for her phone.

"What happened?" Jace stepped closer.

"I just remembered I'm late for this thing. What time is it? How long has it been?" Clary fumbled her phone out of her bag and checked the time. She was late. "Shit. Look I've got to run; it was nice to see you or meet you or whatever." Clary gave him one last smile before scurrying to the elevator.

Jace stared after her, wondering who she was and what she was doing here. He continued to stand and watch as she pressed the elevator button and waited for it to come. She kept glancing towards him then looking away, shifting on her feet. She seemed different, and Jace was intrigued.

The elevator finally reached the lobby and Clary stepped on. She stared at the buttons blankly, having no recollection of where she was supposed to go. "Fuck fuck fuck," she muttered under her breath, trying to remember what Simon had said. The doors closed, but the elevator stayed at the lobby. After searching through all her memories, Clary still came up blank. So, she texted Simon, hoping he wouldn't comment on her tardiness. The second after the message sent, the elevator doors opened to reveal Jace.

"Ah, hey," Clary waved awkwardly, embarrassed that she was still at the lobby.

"So, Clary, what I'm wondering is: why are you still at the lobby and where are you going?" Jace stepped into the elevator and looked at her expectantly.

"Uh..." Clary hesitated, literally not knowing what to say. "I forgot where I was supposed to go, but I'm running late." She scratched the top of her head.

Jace stared down at her. He studied her face, her eyes, then her clothes. "Okay," he shrugged, "I'm going to floor 8, you're welcome to join me," he shot her a wink.

She grinned at him, grateful for his ability to navigate awkward situations. "Sure," she said coyly, "but it'll cost you. I charge the big bucks," she winked back at him. Jace laughed again, running a hand through his golden locks.

"It would be worth it," Jace murmured, his eyes burning into Clary's.

Clary felt her face flush with the strange compliment. His gaze was so intense that Clary had to look down. She bit her lip and looked back up at him, feeling her eyes drawn to him like a magnet. God, she wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him. His eyes were smoldering, making her body shiver with heat. He was leaning nonchalantly on the wall, but she could feel his presence.

She was about to either say something or jump on him when the doors opened.

"Clary?" Both of their heads shot up at the sound of another man's voice. Standing on floor eight was Sebastian. "I was about to come down to the lobby to look for you."

The tension was palpable, so Clary glided off the elevator to Sebastian. "Hi, Sebastian, sorry I'm late," she said softly, "I-I ran in some issues."

Jace, having overheard, laughed loudly. "Dude, she ran into one of those columns in the lobby. It was pretty funny," Jace clapped the other man on the shoulder taking off down the hallway.

Sebastian led Clary in the opposite direction. She couldn't resist the urge to turn, to just catch one more glimpse of Jace. She glanced over her shoulder and met eyes with him. She shot him a grin and he winked in return, giving her a small two-fingered wave.

Clary turned back around, her heart feeling strangely light, and continued following Sebastian to his room which was conveniently on the eighth floor.


	5. Chapter 5

The comedown is the worst. It makes you feel shitty and it brings out the pain and resentment that is bottle up inside. Resentment towards yourself, towards the crack, towards the need to feel that high again. You want to avoid the comedown at all costs. So, if you have more rock, you smoke it until your run out. Even if you've been awake for four days, you keep smoking the crack. When your run out you snort come coke, smoke some weed, some cigarettes, but nothing can compare to that high. Eventually you come down and sleep for a day or two, maybe eat some food. In the end, you buy more crack because all you can think about is the next high.

You smoke your rock, and immediately after the first hit you feel the euphoria. The next hit feels even better. Somehow you finish that rock, so you smoke another, and somehow the pipe is on the ground because it slipped out of your hand. Soon, you run out, and your scraping the bottom of your little baggy for crumbs; anything to keep from the comedown.

You lay back in your bed as the feeling fades. You turn on music, hoping for some of that feeling to return, but it's gone. You smoke a cigarette and some weed because you're antsy. You smoke another cigarette, but you don't feel anything. Nothing matters anymore, nothing but the thought of getting that high again. You need more crack but it's late so you have to wait till tomorrow. The wait is hell. You try to sleep, but you can't stop thinking about tomorrow. It plagues your thoughts, your dreams, your nightmares, until you just lie in your bed staring at the ceiling.

The morning comes and you do it all over again. It's a vicious cycle and Clary was trapped.

Clary woke up in the morning with one thing on her mind... well two things: crack and Jace.

It had been a week or so since she saw him in the hotel. Clary was never entirely sure of the date because her concept of time was always warped. All she knew was that she had gone to that fancy hotel almost every day since then. She wasn't entirely sure why Sebastian had taken a liking to her, but it was a pretty nice relationship; he would buy various drugs for her and pay for her time.

Then there was Jace. She couldn't seem to keep her mind off him. There was something brewing in that elevator that made her flush from head to toe. She wondered what he was doing, if he was married or had a girlfriend (because Clary would happily fill that role). He was one of the most handsome men she had ever met. Every time she walks into that hotel, she hopes to catch a glimpse of gold and then that smirk on his face. Clary almost squealed at the thought.

But, even beautiful thoughts of a beautiful man were not enough to keep Clary's mind off her need for drugs. Clary rolled out of bed and padded down the hallway into the living room. There was a good chance one of her flat mates would be smoking out here, which was pretty convenient.

When Clary entered the room, there were, in fact, two girls smoking. Clary let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and sagged on the couch next to Maia.

"Hey," her friend nodded at her. "You smoking?" Maia held the pipe out in front of Clary.

Clary couldn't help the grin that spread across her face in anticipation. "No doubt," she wrapped her pale fingers around the pipe, her body trembling. She took that first hit and life was good.

They sat there for a while, smoking. Clary wasn't sure how long it was. They put on music and danced. They may have gone outside at some point, but honestly, Clary didn't know. Sometimes her life just blurs together and fantasy bleeds into reality.

When Simon entered their flat, the girls knew it was evening and they had been smoking all day. Their sense of time was nonexistent, so when their pimp entered it came as a huge surprise. It still felt like the morning and yet it could have been days. Clary didn't feel tired, none of them did. Had they eaten anything? Probably not. All she knew, all any of them knew, was that they needed more.

But, Simon was here and that meant work. Clary sighed, in a daze as Simon listed off where eat of the girls were going tonight. After he finished, he pulled Clary by the elbow into the kitchen to talk privately.

"Listen, Clary, Sebastian has requested something special from you tonight. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with it," he spoke quietly so the other girls wouldn't hear.

"Fuck does that mean?" Clary muttered. "Why do you have to be so cryptic?"

"He wants to bring you to this fancy party at his hotel. He's the CEO of this big company, and they're merging with this other company. And so, party," Simon explained with a shrug. "He's sent over a dress for you and everything."

Clary looked around suspiciously, "so, where is this _dress_?"

Simon gave her a weird look, "I put it in your room when I got here. But, you were out of your mind so you probably don't remember that." He flicked Clary lightly on the head. She pouted and rubbed at her forehead.

Simon ran a hand roughly through his hair as he took in her glassy eyes and dazed expression. "Look Clary," he continued, "I want to give you some advice. Sebastian wants you to be his companion. For some reason he's taken a liking to you and I think you should really milk that. He will pay more for you and treat you better. Maybe he'll even want to date you," Simon put his hands on her shoulders and tried to get her to focus, "he could be your ticket out of here. Out of this life. He could help you get clean."

Clary nodded slowly, his words slipping through her mind. She let out a light giggle. "Why are you laughing?" Simon's voice broke through her thoughts.

Clary laughed again, "I just- what you said was funny. When you said clean, I looked down and was like am I dirty? And then I realized what you meant. It was just funny that I didn't know what you meant for a second."

Simon sighed and ran a hand through his hair again, "just go get dressed, you have to be there soon."

Clary nodded, giggles still escaping her lips, before turning and slowly making her way to her room. As soon as she passed the threshold, she fumbled through her belongings, looking for her stash. She quickly found the small vial and took a couple bumps.

When she got around to looking for that dress Simon was talking about, she found it in a pristine box on her bed. Clary opened it and gasped. She lifted the dark green silk out of the box and held it up. It was the most beautiful and expensive piece of clothing that she had ever held, let alone worn. She slid the dress on and it flowed like water over her skin.

Clary twirled around her room, the fabric of her dress picking up and dancing with her. She felt like a princess going to a ball. The fabric clung to her in all the right places and there was a long slit along the side for her pale leg to peek through. She put on her most fabulous pair of black, strappy heels and ran to find Izzy.

As soon as Clary entered her friend's room, Isabelle gasped, speechless. Clary laughed at her reaction, "I did the same thing when I saw it."

"Clary!" Isabelle exclaimed, running over to her, "you look hot as fuck." Isabelle fawned over the dress.

"Thanks Iz," Clary smiled softly, running her hands over the silky material again. "Do you think you could help me with my hair and make-up? I'm supposed to look _sophisticated_ ," Clary mocked.

Isabelle smirked at her, "we both know you can do sophisticated on your own," she teased.

Clary rolled her eyes, "well, you're not wrong."

"I'm just kidding," Izzy laughed, "I would _love_ to help you." She dragged Clary over to her little make-up desk and sat her down. She took a minute, combing her hands through Clary's hair in thought. "I think we should pull your hair back, into a curled ponytail. And I'll go light on the make-up. You'll look amazing, trust me."

Clary conceded with a nod of her head, "make me over."

It took some time, but when Isabelle finished, Clary looked damn good. She gave Izzy a quick hug and murmured a quiet thank you.

Simon was still waiting for her in the living room. When she came out he gave a low whistle, "looking good, Red."

Clary giggled, did a twirl for him, and fell into his arms. The embraced for a second, until Clary pressed her lips softly to his cheek and pulled away.

"Let's head out then," Clary flashed her award-winning smile. The car ride was short, but it gave Clary time to snort more blow before she had to face the evening.

When Simon's car pulled in front of the hotel, Clary was absolutely dazzled. A valet came to her door and opened it for, giving his hand to help her step out. He placed her in front of the glass doors, where she stopped and stared. Clary could see through to the party that was happening in the lobby. There were seventy or so men and women, all dressed to the nine, mingling and dancing.

Clary didn't recognize a single one of them and her chest tightened in a familiar fear. She looked behind her, almost frantically, but Simon's car was already gone. She felt the weight of her little baggie of coke against her breast. She glanced around quickly to see if anyone was looking at her. No one was. She was nobody. But, it gave her the opportunity to swipe a little coke on her finger and rub it against her gums.

She took a deep trembling breath, already feeling her lips and tongue to numb. But she was feeling better, a little better.

She pushed the door open and was immediately bathed in a warm light. W waiter quickly approached her and offered her a glass of champagne. Clary smiled brightly at him and gladly took one. She brought the glass to her lips and downed it in one go. The waiter looked a little surprised at that, but didn't say anything when she replaced it for another glass.

There were tall tables scattered throughout the room for guests to stand around and talk. Men and women in uniform were gliding around with platters of champagne and small, fancy finger food. There was a long bar against one of the walls, behind which, bartenders were working to prepare drinks. Then, Clary's eyes landed on the dessert table.

Her mouth immediately started watering. She glided over to the table and snagged a fancy little fruit tart. It was divine. She had never had a better fucking fruit tart, taken with a little champagne and perfect. Clary caught sight of a tower of brownies and nearly skipped over to it. She had one and then two. Then, she saw it. One single, lone cupcake, just waiting to be devoured. Clary reached out her hand to grab it. As soon as her fingers touched the wrapper, another hand closed over hers.

Clary gasped softly and her head shot up. She made eye contact with that guy. Jace. Of course it was him. They held eye contact for a second, competing for the dessert.

"I didn't see you there," Clary commented, hyper-aware of their hands still touching.

"No?" he questioned, a smirk gracing his features.

"I was in a sugar induced haze. I couldn't see past all these desserts," Clary replied with a grin. She pulled her hand away, "go ahead," she gestured at the cupcake, "you can have it."

"Oh please," Jace laughed. "I'm a gentleman," he held out the cupcake for her to take, "I was going to give it to you, but I was enjoying holding your hand."

Clary smiled, a red flush crawling up her neck. She gently took the cupcake from him, "well, I'm a gentlewoman. We can split it." She looked back up at him, but his eyes were scanning down her dress before resting back on her face. Clary raised her eyebrows at him, and this time his cheeks tinged pink.

"Sorry, I- you look beautiful," he murmured.

Clary saw the openness in his face and was struck by the compliment. She felt heat from the tips of her toes to the tips of her ears. They were standing awfully close together, she hadn't notice that. She knew her face was burning when she stumbled back a step and mumbled a thank you.

She fanned her face, unable to look him in the eye, "so embarrassing," she moaned softly.

Clary heard him chuckle, so she chanced a glance at him. He was smiling widely at her, dressed in a slim fit tux. He always looked completely dashing.

"I think you're cute when you blush, too," he said, his voice husky. She nearly swooned and fell into his arms at the sound of his voice.

Clary was about to respond, say that she was a tomato or something, when a heavy arm draped itself over her shoulder. It was Sebastian.

"Hey Clary... and Jace," his voice was cool, but there was an underlying heat.

"Hey, man," Jace nodded. There was too much tension building between all of them, Clary could feel it in the air.

"Hi Sebastian," she smiled lightly at him. There was an awkward silence. It felt like ages of Sebastian glaring at Jace, Jace glancing between Clary and Sebastian, and Clary awkwardly looking at the floor. She was feeling the effects of the coke wearing off. She couldn't bear the thought of coming down now.

"Well, as much as I would love to stay and chat, I have to run to the ladies' room," Clary broke the silence with a smile. She thrust the cupcake out towards Jace and he took it from her, his fingers brushing lightly against hers. Then, Clary was off, scurrying away from that weird atmosphere.

The bathroom was right down the hall and as soon as the door shut behind her, Clary pulled out her baggie of coke. She took a couple more bumps and settled her nerves. She immediately felt her senses heighten and smiled brightly at herself in the mirror.

She was feeling much better now, even happy. There was a light music playing that made Clary want to spin and dance. She spotted Sebastian still at the dessert table, though Jace was gone.

She approached her client, ready to please, "Sebastian," she called, "want to dance with me?" She twirled before stopping in front of him.

His dark eyes took her in quietly. "No," his voice was soft but final.

Clary pursed her lips and shrugged. She tried. If he didn't want to dance, fine. But that wouldn't stop her. The music carried her among the couples dancing together. Clary sighed happily and closed her eyes, twirling on the floor alone. People were staring at her, but Clary couldn't bring herself to care.

Warm fingers laced through hers and spun her into his chest.

Jace, after watching Sebastian reject Clary, had decided to join her.

"Hi," Clary greeted softly, a smile lighting up her face.

Jace smirked down at her, one hand in hers and the other on her lower back. "A pretty girl shouldn't be dancing alone," he commented.

They swayed to the song, "I like it. There's something freeing about it all." She looked up at him. Clary noted the specks in his golden eyes, the scruff on his jaw, the smoothness of his skin. "So, did you eat the cupcake? Was it as delicious as it looked? I'm so very curious."

Jace pursed his lips, "honestly, I've had better."

Clary's eyes widened in shock, "really? Where? I want to go there. That was the best-looking cupcake I've ever seen. I just can't imagine what a better cupcake would look like. Is it close to here? Should we go now?" Clary bounced about and down on her toes as she danced, completely full of energy and unable to stop talking.

Jace laughed at her, "it's not near here. It was this little bakery that was near where I grew up." His eyes seemed distant as he thought about his past.

"That sounds nice. My home was a lot different," Clary laughed, but she felt a pain bubble up inside. "But, that was a long time ago, and now I'm here: in this fancy ass hotel, with a fine ass man, and decent ass cupcakes."

The "fine ass man" stumbled as he choked on his laughter. "Well, thank you for that," he chuckled, "you're too much."

Clary looked up at him with a pout and her sad face.

"In a good way," he patted her head, "in a very good way."

Clary beamed up at him and did a twirl before falling back into his arms. "So, what is it that you do? What is this party, exactly?"

Jace rubbed a hand over his jaw. "It's kind of complicated," he started, "we're businessmen. Sebastian owns this hotel and a few others and I own a couple for a different company. This party is to celebrate the merging of our companies."

Clary nodded her understanding, "that makes sense."

"Yeah, but he and I have never really gotten along. So now that we're business partners, everything is kind of tense."

"So then why did you partner with him?" Clary question, resting her chin on his chest so she could look up at him.

"It was just the best move for both of us at the time, in terms of finances and shit like that," Jace rolled his eyes as if he thought all that was boring.

He rested his chin on top of her head and Clary relished in the warmth of his arms, her heart racing. His scent engulfed her as she rested her head against his chest. He tightened his fingers on her waist and pulled her closer, so their bodies were flush together.

They danced like that for a while, just swaying to the music. Suddenly, Clary felt it. She stood back and brought her fingers to her nose. They came back with blood. "Fuck," Clary and Jace muttered at the same time.

"I'll grab you some napkins," Jace was about to take off, but Clary grasped his sleeve.

"No," she nearly shouted, a little freaked, "I'll just go to the bathroom. This happens sometimes."

"I'll take you there," Jace grabbed her hand and pulled her through the guests. Her nose was dripping and it was all Clary could do to keep it off her dress. On the way to the bathroom, Jace picked up a napkin and passed it back to her. She took it and held it to her nose, absorbing the blood.

When they got to the bathroom, he gestured for her to enter. Clary stopped and looked at him. "Thank you," she said softly, "thank you for dancing with me and talking with me," Clary turned to go into the bathroom.

"Wait," Jace's voice stopped her. "I-," he hesitated, "I want to take you out... on a date," he held a hand out between them, as if to touch to her.

Clary's green eyes pierced into him then fluttered shut. She took a deep breath, "Jace," her voice was warm and sent tingles through Jace's body. He wanted her. "Thank you, really, thank you," now it was her turn to hesitate. "But, I'm not good for you," she finally said, her voice hoarse. She couldn't bear to meet his eyes again, so she pushed her way into the bathroom. Jace stood and watched as the door swung shut behind her with a strange finality.


End file.
